Emotional Abuse

Recently, I've been made aware of young girls who have fallen in love with guys who seem to be fabulous and amazing…yet over time these "lovely" guys have gradually become controlling, aggressive and manipulative. The girls then find themselves in a position where they no longer have the same confidence they used to, they feel powerless and have often lost their old supportive friends, leaving them isolated and fearful. It all happens gradually and often you're in DEEP before you realize and admit there is a problem.

What A Girl Needs has put together some information to help you and your friends avoid falling into this TRAP!

YOU NEED TO KNOW: Emotional Abuse is serious! It can lead to physical abuse in the future. BE AWARE!!! HERE ARE SOME CLUES THAT INDICATE EMOTIONAL ABUSE IS TAKING PLACE: He puts you down. He expects you to be grateful when he does something for you. He controls your finances. He expects you to change your old behaviours. He influences you to spend less time with your family and friends. You feel pressure to stop your hobbies and own interests. He humiliates you in public. He undermines your decisions. You are constantly the last to know about plans that he has made. YOU FEEL: less confident submissive you need to ask his permission before making decisions low self-esteem powerless fearful HE IS: jealous hot-tempered demanding controlling lacking self-esteem abusing his power

	Phase 1 - TENSION BUILDING:Tension increases, breakdown of communication, victim feels need to placate the abuser.
Phase 4 - CALM:Incident is "forgotten", no abuse is taking place.		Phase 2 - INCIDENT:Verbal and emotional abuse. Anger, blaming, arguing. Threats. Intimidation.
	Phase 3 - RECONCILIATION:Abuser apologises, gives excuses, blames the victim, denies the abuse occurred, or says it wasn't as bad as the victim claims.

The original three-phase Cycle of Violence theory was developed by Dr. Lenore Walker. The fourth phase was added by unknown persons in shelter handouts, pamphlets etc. http://www.lilaclane.com:80/relationships/emotional-abuse/

DON'T BE A VICTIM!!!

If you recognize these signs in a new relationship, you need to act now and GET OUT or it will only get worse. You are worth so much more and you deserve to be treated with respect.

If you are already in an emotionally abusive relationship, you need to seek help! If you don't get the help you need right away, don't give up…..try again. You should contact a counsellor immediately. You can also talk to a trusted family member or a friend for advice and a shoulder to lean on. Create a support network and formulate a plan to regain your life! If you feel there is a threat to your safety at anytime, call the police.

Sites to check out for further information

Symptoms of Emotional Abuse
Emotional Abuse