When Should I Have SEX???

Girls struggle with the question, "When should I have sex?" If it's too early, friends will think you are "easy", and if you leave it too long, you could be considered a prude!

Firstly, there is no time that is the absolute right time for you. Deciding when to have sex depends on your own values and morals. For this reason, it is a good idea to really think hard about what your values and beliefs are about sex BEFORE the occasion arises so that you stick to your own morals and you don't find yourself being persuaded by a cute guy (who may not be around for long) and a whole lot of feelings and hormones going crazy, messing with your mind and limiting your ability to make the best decision for you at that time…..Better to make the decision while you are thinking clearly!

Many cultures and religions suggest waiting until you are married and this is not a crazy notion. Just check out the consequences that you may have to face up to if engaging in sexual activities (read our articles about STDs and teen pregnancy) and you will realise that waiting until you are married is not a standard that is just there to limit your enjoyment or fun, but rather, protect you from possible pain and health risks.

Another benefit is that if your guy sticks around without sex, you can be sure he thinks you are amazing and well worth the wait…HE LOVES YOU!! The thing about waiting though is you need to be clear about it, and be up front with boyfriends. Be assertive about your beliefs and don't compromise. Don't feel that you have to apologise for your beliefs. Just tell him how it is and if he's keen he'll hang around. If not, he's not the guy for you.

Another standard many girls follow is to wait for a serious relationship. You may have different markers to define "serious" such as time together and commitments you've made together. Again, before you get to the "serious" stage, be clear about your values and always be assertive when it comes to setting boundaries. Deciding when to have sex is your choice and you always have the right to say NO if you feel uncomfortable at any stage.

Other girls will have different ideas to you about when the "right time" is to have sex, but it is important not to measure your own values by those around you. Think about your own values and beliefs, the consequences (emotional and physical) involved with sex and also the type of relationship you want to end up in. Having a partner who respects you and adores you is worth waiting for.