Getting along with your Parents

As a teenage girl, it is likely that the way you communicate with your parents has changed significantly since when you were a younger child. If you find that you are having more arguments and talking about certain issues is getting more difficult, don't worry...it's perfectly normal. As you get older, you become more independent, develop your own opinions and have unique interests.

Sometimes it can be difficult to negotiate how much independence you have at different ages/stages, and it can feel uncomfortable when you and your parents hold different ideas, beliefs and opinions. While this can be a difficult transitional stage for you and your parents, never fear, we have some suggestions that should help you to improve your communication and help toward maintaining a positive relationship.

To maintain a healthy relationship, ensure that you talk about the regular things in your life on a daily basis. Tell your parents about your day and ask about their day. This way, you create a solid platform for good communication and talking about tougher issues will be easier because you are already in the habit of talking to each other.

Also, if you tell them what you've been up to, this cuts down on them constantly asking probing questions. Often it feels invasive and annoying when parents do this but generally, they are just trying to take an interest in your life. If you tell them straight up, they won't need to ask 20 questions!

It is completely normal to have different opinions to your parents about some issues. The problem comes when you have to argue the point and get personal. When you have a differing opinion:

1. Respect the other person's point of view.
2. Don't put them down or get too personal.
3. Try to understand where they are coming from (LISTEN).
4. Don't be rude or act superior.
5. Talk about why you hold your views and how you came to thinking that way.
6. Stay calm and discuss rationally.

1. Take a time to calm down. (You may need to go for a walk, have a drink of water, or leave the situation for a while.) Never try o resolve a conflict while you are angry or upset.
2. Make a time to discuss the subject calmly and try to work out a solution.
3. Be ready to compromise. (GIVE and TAKE!)
4. Work out some options and together choose the most suitable for both parties.
5. If your discussions get too heated or you find it difficult to say what you think, try writing it in a card, a letter or an e-mail.
6. Avoid blaming your parent as this will provoke a defensive response.

No.4: If you have to discuss a sensitive or tough issue, tell your parents that you need to talk to them seriously about it and make a specific time to approach the issue.

Think about your facial expressions and gestures. Listen to the tone of your voice and the volume at which you are speaking. You should aim to be calm and relaxed. The more aggressive you appear to be, the more difficult it will be to communicate effectively.

Parents don't magically know what you are thinking unless you tell them. So, don't assume they know what you are upset about. Tell them!

No. 7: Always be honest.

No.8: Always be respectful.

No. 9: Take the time to "step into the other person's shoes" and see the world from their perspective.

No. 10: Tell them that you value them and let them know that you appreciate them.